I couldn’t sleep. It happens a lot these days. Instead of grabbing my laptop to write, I scrolled through social media. About an hour into this, I was ready to chuck my phone against a bloody wall. In fact, I could imagine it shattering into a million pieces. I wanted so much to see this destruction, but then I would have to destroy my laptop, too, and I simply could not afford new devices.
What had me so irate? This: ****, and whatever other symbols people decide to use instead of using the letters that make up a fucking word!!! And the bleeps. What is going on in the world?!
My excessive use of punctuation marks may irritate some, but I really don’t care right now. I want to know what is happening.
The reason for my tirade was a clip I watched that was supposed to restore faith in mankind. You know, there are still good people out there and all? It was about a 16-year-old boy, a wrestling champ no less, who came to the aid of people being attacked by a fucking lunatic. He pinned the guy to the ground and held him there until the police arrived. Fucking great story. This boy is a hero! But how the hell is a person supposed to follow the thread of this heroic deed when every fucking second word, even in his interview, is censored????????? How are you supposed to know that the guy had a knife when the word ‘knife’ was bleeped? This boy (a huge kid, by the way) was afraid that this madman had a gun, but the word ‘gun’ was censored. Murder, attack, stab, dead. What the actual fuck is this practice meant to accomplish?
Removing negative, harsh, and violent words from our vocabulary will not make us nicer, more tolerant people. Softening words related to crime and death, pain and suffering, will not make us care more. On the contrary, some people like me might just be driven to ‘unalive’ someone because of this ridiculousness.
What the hell is ‘unalive’? Kill, murder, commit suicide, die. You do not unalive someone or yourself; you bloody well kill them. I am South African. In this country, violent crime is a pandemic. Rape is a part of this pandemic. Not r*pe, but rape. Murder is a part of it, not m*rd*r; gender-based violence is rampant. Child abuse is a daily occurrence by the thousands. And some fucking sensitive soul decided that the world does not need to be exposed to this type of language use. Why the fuck not? If you can watch sex scenes, scenes of GBV, war atrocities, and insane use of profanities on the big screen (or read it in someone’s post) or even on telly, then why this pretence that we should not read or see certain words on our social feeds? Have we become so… you know what? I can’t even think of a word because sensitive or considerate or easily affected by it just does not cut it for me.
Perhaps I don’t understand ‘the world’ as it is today. Perhaps I am just a latch-key kid who had to find out about my world on my own. And that view has stayed with me. Perhaps perimenopause is really fucking with me. I don’t know.
What I do know is that I have a 9-year-old son, and when he asks me something, I give him an answer. When he asked me (after seeing an ad for menstrual pads) why the girl’s bum was bleeding, I explained that it wasn’t her bum. He is only 9. His brain can only process so much at a time, and he is neurodivergent, so I keep my explanations age-appropriate. But I never shy away from difficult explanations. When he asks me a question, I answer him in the most honest way possible. I do not want to raise a child who has no idea what really happens in the world outside his home.
I have almost finished my rant and my wine. If anyone can explain this new, softer approach to the Realities of Life on this Planet, please do. If you think you can change my mind, please try.
The funny thing is that I am a sensitive soul. I have always been an empath. Now that my hormones and body do not get along at all, I cry when my dog looks lovingly at me.
But really, when the zombie apocalypse hits us, do we want someone who can stab the motherfucker through the eye socket, or do we want someone to unalive this being that once had a soul by p*nching his l*ghts out?
Be honest.